MUM-OF-TWO Lily Allen has recalled her “painful” childhood and told how she feels “jealous” of her mum because she had it easier.
The singer and actress, who has daughters Ethel, 12, and Marnie, 11, with her ex-husband Sam Cooper, opened up about her mother Alison Owen being absent while she was growing up due to work commitments.
Appearing on Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe’s Parenting Hell podcast, Lily was read out a question by best friend Miquita Oliver, and her mum, Andi, who the 38-year-old grew up with.
“Did having kids make you more empathetic to what Andi and Alison were like as parents when you and Miquita were growing up?” it said.
And Lily, whose father is actor Keith Allen, didn’t have to think twice about her answer – no.
“It was a very different time, the 80s,” she said. “My mum had my sister when she was 17 and had two more by the time she was 24.”
Lily went on to explain how her mum “didn’t come from money” and came from a very working class family in Portsmouth.
“She made her way to London with one kid under her arm,” the singer continued.
We’re different people – but do I feel empathetic, no. I feel jealous because they had it easier!
Lily Allen
“She put herself through university and then became a film producer and got nominated for an Oscar by the time she was 30 – as a single parent, that’s an incredible achievement.
“Did it have an affect on us as children? Yes it did. Do I hold that against her, no I don’t – although it was pretty painful at the time.”
The mum-of-two goes on to point out that it was a very “different time,” adding that her mum was able to do that because she had more support from the community around her.
Lily, who would stay with Andi for weeks at a time when her mum was off working, continued: “People pitched in and they helped and I just don’t think that sort of thing is available to us now.
“I had to make more sacrifices because I didn’t have that village in the same sense that they had that village.”
“So I had to make a concerted decision to step back from what it was that I was doing in order to be present and to not have my kids go to boarding school and be left standing outside alone at a bus station.
“We’re different people – but do I feel empathetic? No. I feel jealous because they had it easier!”
During the podcast, the hosts discussed the time that Lily was left waiting to be picked up from a bus stop to take her back to Somerset after school, only for no one to turn up.
“Does a lot of that stuff really inform what you’re doing now as a parent?” they asked.
Lily replied: “Absolutely, I can’t even fathom the idea of that happening to one of my kids…it just wouldn’t happen.
“You know, it wasn’t my mum’s fault. My mum sent somebody to pick me up and it was a f*** up – she didn’t know that person was quite irresponsible so I guess it was a little more her fault, but things like that left a real mark.”
She went on to admit that she’s not there at the school gates every day for her own kids and does have a nanny that helps her out.
However, Lily, continued: “I’ve been there for every sport’s day, I’m there for every parent’s evening, we do homework, I cook them dinner at least three or four times a week and we all sit round the table, and I make a Sunday roast every Sunday without fail.”
The ‘Smile’ singer, who says she couldn’t imagine sending her kids to boarding school because it’s a “weird concept,” was also asked whether she’d speak to her children about things they went through growing up.
“My kids are really good at expressing themselves emotionally,” she explained.
“Sometimes they’ll say things and I’ll get really emotional because I’m still not particularly good at naming my emotion and being able to talk about how I’m feeling.
“And so something I’ll get really emotional and Marnie will be like ‘what’s wrong mummy,’ and I’m like ‘I’m just really proud of you that you’re able to express yourself in that way because me and my mummy never spoke to each other in the way that you speak to me and it makes me really happy.'”
“So they get little bits, I don’t just give them a sob story.”
